[story of a girl]

poems...


FALL:

sharpen up your lies
with the knifes jagged edge
whisper to the stars
as your hanging by a thread
the strings are freying now
about to break in two
look up to the midnight sky
at the deep enchanting blue
wish upon a shooting star
and hope and pray you die
the withering rope breaks, you fall
but you're dried of tears to cry

SILVER SAVIOR:

melancholy memories
ripping through my dreams
i try to make a sound
but silent are my screams
that drip down the painted walls
coated black with night
echoes of a broken child
erupt from lips tonight
flash, flash, it all comes back
us naked, hands, the game
please, oh, please, don't want to play
i cry with fear and shame
in time the memories slowly pass
but still they haunt my dreams
so i take my silver savior
and watch the red blood stream

DRINK THE SORROW:

i hate how every song
reminds me of what was
so i take another drink
to sharpen up the buzz
that blinds you from my memory
and casts you from my soul
i try to fill the void with booze
but you've left a gaping hole
so i toss another back
hell, what's one more
everything seems fine
till i hit the bathroom floor
collapsed in blood and tears
your memory at bay
i look up to the ceiling
and pray this goes away
nightfall casts shadows
playing on the walls
this drunken, heart-broke, little girl
slowly sinks and falls

ADDICTION:

starvation be my cure
razor fill the need
to waste away, ease the pain
that comes when fresh cuts bleed
i tremble as i listen
to the sound of my own cries
and i shiver at the cold
that comes when summer dies
autumn is the devil
winter greets with death
the cold and freezing rain
rob me of all breath
suffocate me, lay me down
and end it all tonight
no longer will i live
in the darkness, in this fright

THE STORM:

meet me in the halls of hell
where shadows come to play
rain clouds litter darkened skies
and mask the sun with grey
the storm it rages on and on
until its had its fill
but even as the sun comes out
these hazel eyes still spill
tears of sorrow, tears of lust
of how we once were one
and then i realize, horror screaming
the storm has just begun

GONE:

we sit in silence
our words a foreign entity
to spaces once filled
with sweet whispers of
our passion and love
i want you but
your not giving in
and this hurts more
than those empty words
can ever bring meaning to

FACE THE MUSIC:

hop in the car
just cruising downtown
bouncing to the beat
and movving to the sound
rhythm washes over
and sorrow plays guitar
every single lyric
just adds another scar
and then it all comes down
to memories at dawn
i gotta face the music
no more, you're gone

LOST:

you pull my broken heart
in a twisted tug of war
string bound to break
wither, can't take much more
i scream out for an end
but still your game prevails
the darkness inside grows
my will to fight soon fails
with a bruised and bleeding heart
you hold high in your hands
victory is sought, you say
for now ruined are our plans
of yesterday, now and then
of dreams we chased when young
melancholia sets right in
whats lost has now begun

WITHOUT YOU:

just driving down the
twisting roads and steep hills
that rise and fall like our heartbeats
colliding with the shards
of broken stars we wished
on long ago. blood spurts from
punctured loss and shattered bits
of burnt love with smoke like
cigarette ash: thick and hazy. summer
rages on, but i've never felt so cold.

STARS FADE:

stars fade into a backdrop
of blackened skies
tears mist and slip away
from your brilliant jade green eyes
hope is lost in all of this
for now theres bitter sorrow
that grips us tight and
holds on to tomorrow

OCEAN:

with eyes like the ocean
you entice me with the
waves of your soul
and the crash/crest of your
ever flying spirit that rolls
with ease like the water
tickling our toes as we walk
along the beach, fingers entertwined.
and i think this is love.

ASHES:

i paint the sky
with ashes of your burning memory
set ablaze by the torch
of my undying need to watch
the pain turn to dust
like hiroshima, clouds of black
penetrate what once was blye
and at last i am calm as the
flames leap higher, devouring
your memory with the scorch
of red and orange.

FLAMES OF ABUSE:

you set my heart ablaze
with your burning hot desire
i'm lost in clouds of smoke
and still you light the fire
anger sears inside this soul
like embers from below
burning hot, they wait to spark
then boom, burn, leap, explode.

YOU AND ME:

you push away the paian
indulge in your escape
crimson tears and razor blades
destroy the you i hate
you're with me every morning
face shattering the mirror
distortion blurs my empty eyes
a view that won't get clearer
cut your wrist when darkness shouts
seal your lips with lies
the broken girl inside us both
is hollow as she cries

FEED THE ADDICTION: (dedicated to ryan)

the needles feed you gold
as calm runs through your vein
inject syringe, your eyes roll back
feel it wash away the pain
cut your poison into lines
a mirror and a blade
snort it up and cut some more
watch your problems fade
so overdose on apathy
swallow pills until they're gone
i guess its like they always say
there'll be darkness before dawn

STOLEN SUN:

the darkness stole the sun
and left me here to bleed
it ripped my heart and bruised my soul
and left me with the need
to self-destruct and cut my skin
to end the screaming pain
it glared at me, screamed, go get a knife
and cut your poisoned veins

VULTURES:

huddled in a black chair,
sqeaks and faux leather
i hide behind my book. i am a word
painter, an artist of the windows of
my soul, spilling all that begs to be
spilled, telling and writing what must
be put down to fill the empty void.
like vultures over prey, my thoughts race
and then attack: fast and swift, swooping
down and enveloping me in darkness, then
going in for the kill. vultures, thoughts.
thoughts, vultures. i think the thoughts are worse.