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i'm sorry i have been lacking in writing lately. i am so far gone. the depression is haunting me. my voice sounds so sad. my eyes even sadder. before she goes anywhere my mom asks if i am going to be okay. sometimes she makes me sleep with her in her room to "stay safe." -sigh- i'm really falling apart. i'm getting my wisdom teeth out on monday so i better get some narcotics so i can sleep and escape. fuck i can't do this anymore. i know i'm at my breaking point. i told eva, she's worried. we are all trying to keep me out of the hospital. i don't ever want to go back. i am so lost. broken. nothing is okay. i am trying to look forward to coming to see vanessa. and i am. its just... there is no way i will eat if she's still on the tpn/calorie/nutrient iv... i'm leaving on january 7-25 and fuck i need it to be now. its whats keeping me going. school starts five days after i get back... i hope that will be a good thing and i won't get too stressed out. fuck i'm crying again... i need to go... please don't worry... i'll be fine someday... i hope.
iknowimgoingtobreakiknowiamsolostifeelmy
iknowimgoingtobreakiknowiamsolostifeelmy
I worry. I wish worrying -did- something, though. It's good that you have something to look forward to, at least, right?
and i wish more then anything that there was something i could do.
i love you with all my heart girl. always and forever. and know that i am here if you ever need anything. you can call collect if you have to. baby, i'd walk to maryland to be with you. and all you'd have to do is say the word and i'd be there.
*holds you tight*
hang in there baby.
I just realized you weren't on my friend's list. That's gotta change chica!!
Add me??
I'm sorry you're not feeling so well. Is there anything that I can do for you?
We have to try to hang in there...-holds you close-
i love you...